Nervous reaction...

Ahoy..im back!!
My bill came and it was $70.
HAHA.
I must get a new lover.
So my bill will always be $40.
I have no idea why my bill is lesser,
When i'm attached.
Make no sense.

Was hoping that will confiscate it.
Cos he's paying wot!
Besides,
I see no point for me to use a hp.
And if he should take it,
I don't know.
Then that's good larr??
Right?
*fumbles*

But no!
He didn't confisate it.
Ego shit larr he.
Somehow we're pampered.
I want a job,
He said "u can always ask me for money".
I think i need $100 today.
How?

i can't explain how i'm feeling right now.
i'm just high.

Then we'll take it nice and slow...

Its 545am in the morning!!
Good morning people!!!

Just woke up
and feel like being here.
HAHA.

I'm still feeling so wohoohoo.
Just can't help it.


those were the same feelings i used to feel back then.
still nervous.

My real life fantasy...

I'm rushing to harbourfront.
but i'm still here.
rarrrrrs...

this is eating very inch of my heart.

That 'i love you' language is leaving me...

School was ok.
Boring as usual.

me:(in my blurness mode)
girl:hi! my name is athirah..what's yours? (extends her hand)
me:(jumped off the seat.i really did!!utter klutz) huh??
me:orhs... my name is mai.
girl: huh??what name is that?
me: its my name..there..its written on this book.
girl:oh..we go the same class and smile but never did talk.
me:hehe..yeah.

(and off mr frappucino went back to her blurness mode)

There's two new chinese girl in our class!!
=))))
I think so.
Maybe they went M.I.A for so long larrs.

Bought sis her belated birthday gift.
She really like it.
Went to to the doctor,
Niece is down with runny nose.
The doctor was talking to us,
Explaining about these shits.
My niece just yawned loudly!!
So long some more.
She must have read my mond.
B-O-R-I-N-G!!

She's fooking cutessss.
Love her to bits.
My lorfely niece.
Ok..now i sounds like i am paedophile.
Nono..i'm not sexually attracted to kids.
I prefer the matured and growned ones.
HAH.
Now i sound pervertic.

Had dinner at harbourfront.

Now i wanna...
ZzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzz!!!

Eyebags getting worst.
WORST WORST.
I look so damn fugly.

Oh no..i have a long day of school tomorrow!!
Arggggg...then off to sis house,
her hp is with me.

Then maybe chill?
yayy..espresso!! =))
Shall have mocha instead.
Ouh...


Mr frappucino AAAAAAAAA-----WOOOOTS!!

It is midnight!!!
Welcome to another episode of,
"Bore your fooking balls with Mr Frappucino".

Just got back from 711.
Decided to give in to my poor tummy.
They've been producing HCl mans the whole day.
My lungs battling with the toxic fumes.
AHH
*sms the lung "fumigate mr frappucino's lungs !!"
*lung reply "aye aye sire!"

I bought,

mashed potato

instant noodle

giant slurpee

my mr frappucino ooh..ahh..the starbucks one.

They didn't have mocha mans.

I need to shower la.
Weather been a lil fook these days.
One minute it was fooking scorching hot,
the next minute it rained like cow and chicken!!
oops..missed that dumb crappy cartoon.
Pardon me..it rained like cats and dogs.
ouh..

listening to madonna-rain.
mr frappucino is deprived of rain.
when it rains,
you* and me lets play in the rain,
and we dance in the rain,
and splashed each other,
by jumping on the puddle of water.
arhhs...
sweetness.

was late for my class.
supposed to wake up at 745am.
I need 10mins to bathe and dress up onli.
So why wake up a minute earlier??
Hehe..instead,
i woke up 5minutes before my 2nd class.
First reaction,
mr frappucino looked at the clock
*gasp*
"FOOK!!OH HELL"
Man..how crude am i these days.
Rushed to the bathroom.
Was in a frenzy,
knocked into EVERYTHING which is blocking my way.
That is mr frappucino when she is late.
Forgot to bring my 1st wallet.
So brought the other wallet,
which only contains $$.
I can't find my 1st wallet la fook.
My Santa Barbara leather wallet.
Where art thou?????
My ID,ez-link and my nets and my mastercard are in it la!!!!

Ahh..that explains my shotness of memory.
STM.

(in randomness order)
I need to get back to my sis house.
I need to see my niece.
I need to go mt biking at bt timah nature reserve.
I need to ride on my bike.
I need dark chocs really fooking bad tho i can't have dark chocs.
I need to eat but i refused.
I need a spank to wake me up from this dreams/fantasy.
I need to pass my maths and comb science.
I need a make-out session (oops...haha..)
I need to shower.
I need to study my science.
I need to buy sis a birthday gift.
I need to fag for the 6th time today.
I need a bigggg hug.
I need to get over this heart/emotional turmoil.
I need to cry.


mr frappucino.
outs.

i am everything u want
i am everything u need
i am everything inside of you that u wished u could be
i say all the right things
at exactly the right time
but i mean nothing to u and i don't know why.

Destiny is calling me...

Does she still think of me?
She seems fine.
She seems like she has moved on.
All those "i heart u" "i missed u"
to those fucked assholes,
just blow me up.
Making me fucking mad and depressing.

Arghs.
forget it.
make way fer the better man ryann.

I need some epsresso.
Hee...


i am here!!!

Egg yolk...

tips for potential LOSERS.

One should not believe in others because they are likely to exaggerate and lie.
Trust yourself because only u yourself don't lie.
Trust your instinct.

One should not pretend that she loves someone yet,
They go around flirting saying i love u or i miss u.
These people should be raped and left pregnant.

One should not act popular because it totally irks people off.

Alright that's all.



i've tried to say the words,
but they didn't come out right,
U never gave me the chances.

19days passed still the aches.

Man i love the shits u gave me.
HUR.

(The conversation between ryann's heart and brain)

The brain speaks:
Stop it ryann.stop harbouring the thoughts. she don't care about u. she don't call or message u anymore. she's having fun. she contacts other bungs but ure being the pathetic one NONE.Get some chicks!!

The heart speaks:
NONO.i want her despite the shits and pain she put me through. This space can never be replaced. I'll wait for as long my heart breaks, as much as it aches badly.if its meant to be, she'll come back to me!u ass!!

The brain speaks:
You will suffer more fool! GET INTO UR MIND.SHe left u. LEFT LEFT LEFT. Get it?? Do u need me to explain what does that means? *search for the oxford dictionary* She don't bother to msg or call u. Are u too PLAIN DUMB or WHAT??

The heart speaks:
Why did she left me?Am i that imperfect? *the heart breaks more. pain* Do u think she will come back?

The brain speaks:
Shut up fool.SHE LEFT YOU LAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *screams and threatens to endanger the heart's life*

The heart speaks:
Do u think she is happy without me?

The brain speaks:
WHy must u care fucker.She don't care about u. Stop caring!!!

The heart speaks:
But i love her.truly love her.do u get what i mean by i'm truly in love and madly in love with her???

The brain speaks:
No. Love never exist shit.

THe heart speaks:
Why the one we love have to leave us? God,it took me 2 years to fucking open up to someone and that's her.Now she's gone??

The brain speaks:
U been with that girl for 1 month and u waited for 2 years? Are u planning for ur funeral? And u've been with her for 11 months, now what, 22 years? I need some gasoline to pour on u. This will teach u a lesson. *the violent brain makes its way to the shop. MAMA!! minyak tanah satu botol la... brapa??*

The heart speaks:
I don't know. Stop asking me to move on ok!! I'm not ready.I still want her.

The brain speaks:
U guys been breaking up and patch for about countless of times.Its always she who chucked u. WHY RYANN!! WHY?!!!!!! Repeat after me, "for i shall not love again.and love never exist.the excruciating pain we feel when they left us.they don't care. Love is like playing chess. it kills u slowly in silence. and in the end 'checkmate'. u have nowhere to run to. so help us god."

THe heart speaks:
For i shall always be in love with her.and love only exist when i'm with her.no one can love her as much as i do. i miss her.i want her back. come back!!!

The brain(sighs)

THe brain went bananas (mad) for heart's being complete stubborn. for bein a complete shit who doesn't wanna listen to him. The brain unscrew the bottle of the gasoline, pour it on heart and set him alight!! *Evil laughs*

That's the end of the violent yet quite intelluctual brain.
Heart suffer extreme burn case and was admittied to NUH.
Now serving his therapy at Institute OF mental Health.

Heart sits on his wheelchair. Still waiting.

Brain is planning for more plans to indoctrinate heart to move on. But his conquest of 'love never exist' is unsuccesful.

You can be my everything girl...

Gens de matin!!
Ouh..revert to my old template.
Final fantasy again.
Ouh..i love yuna.
=)

Its 5am and i'm still wide awake.

Listening to some ska.
Ouhhhh.

My legs getting better.
Muscle pull like fuck.
I can't even climb the stairs properly.
Thank god there's no lift breakdown or what,
Or i shall just camp beside the lift.
How to climb 13 stories when both of my legs are so painful.
Had to jump down when going down the steps.
I look from the chinese vampire.
Hoo.



I'm going to grab a mug of caffeine!!
I mean, coffee lars.

outs.

//i'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired
i know right now u don't care
but soon enough u gonna think of me
and how i used to be....me]]

Forkedelic...

Time and time again i tell myself to fucking move on.And fill this empty space in my heart with lotsa fun and shits.Some ecstacy maybe.But how can i fill this empty space if its meant for you.To shed tears with you when you cry.To laugh with you over the silliest thing about u and me.To bully you when u mispronounced any word and to pacify u when you sulk.Which ever look so cute when u do that.To lock our palms together which makes me so high i can't even feel the ground beneathe me and never wanna let it go.To see you rest on my shoulder in the bus after a hard day of school, and with our palms clasped together and all i wanna do is to just marry you off and live with you until the day when He takes my life away and hope that the bus should just stall in the middle of the highway. For i can't take it when you're out of my sight. And whenever we've reached to your lift, i wish that i can take you away and keep you by my side for as long as we can hold on to. The goodbye hugs and kiss and i love you's we used to have/do/say from the first time we've met, never seems to failed. And every of that hug, i used to say in my mind and pray that it won't have to be last hug/kiss/i love you's. For i can never love any other woman like i love you. For this heart of mine i've submitted wholeheartedly to you. Now its all in pieces never to be put back together. Only you can make me feel right. Only you can lift my spirits after a whirlwind of storm. Only you who is able to 'seep' inside my heart and give me the love which is all i ever wanted.So needed.
I can never go back to the part where i used to be so happy. So happy when i've found u.So happy when you're mine. Selfishly mine. No other men can love u like i do. I've been waiting for you all of my life. Once you came back, you filled my world with so much colors. Now you went away. No sms,no calls, not even a news about you.

I can make myself to run endless of laps. I can make myself to achieve straight A's. I can earn money should i be broke. But can i make u love me? Can i make u come back to me? No. Just NO NO NO. What is it about me that u can't see me? Am i so meaningless than grades? Am i that unworthy than gold? These 11months. Do i not mean anything to you? Do u think of me before u go to sleep? Do u think of me every minute of the day, about the memories we used to share, those moments? Do tears streamed down your face when u think of those stuff? Why do u have to doubt my love? I'll do anything for you. I'll give up anything just for u. Crazy? Yes.This love u once gave me makes me go insane. And its like a drug. I can never get enough of it. I don't want to go cold turkey. It hurts to not hear from u. Those late nights conversation. We would talk until we're damn tired. Those morning conversation which i stayed up the whole night just to talk to you first thing when u board the bus. Because i am afraid i might not be able to wake up. I would patiently wait until your school end until i can again call u and hear your voice again. But sometimes u just have to irk me off. Its ok. I'm fine. Why do you have to leave again this time? Is this for real? I'm still madly in love with you. THe clock is ticking. Still waiting.

-ryann

Mr American Pie...

Ouh!!!
This is the shampoo she uses!
Reminds me of those times i used to smell her hair.
Oh fuck fuck ryann.
Stop thinking about her!!!

In a dilemma.
Should i go home and 10mins journey to school.
Or stay here,
Suffer 90mins of stupid train ride,
Competing for a hot seat in the MRT!
If only she picks up the bloody phone.
Maybe we can go to school together.
And me being 2hours early for school.
I shall impose a punishment for myself.
Should i think of her.

My niece have fetish for papers!
She saw the newspaper i was reading,
She went berserk.
Gave her an unused envelope,
She shred it to pieces.
TINY PIECES!!
For a 5month baby shred it to tiny pieces??
Ahh..she's my dearest.

I appreciate those who volunteered to be her baby-sitter.
I know..she follows me.
=)

Oh..i seriously have no mood to blog this shit,
In this blog anymore.
Because,the template just fucking sucks.
One, I am too lazy to upload pix to my own server,
Two, I am too lazy.
THree, I rather listen to my namie amuro song.
Maybe i shall revert to my previous Final FAntasy template.
Ouh..how i love yuna.
She's gorgeous.
*swoon*
Ahh..too bad she's some anime character!
My sister takes eons to buy that inuyasha VCD lar!!
Err..is it the fith of sixth ones?
Both.
I think la.

Alright... i need to listen to ayumi hamasaki.
Ouh.
I shall blog when i have the mood to change my template.
So...GOODBYE SHITS!!!
Oh..i did not put my haloscan comment.
Ahh..don't need la,
I don't need to hear your guys comment.
Ahh..For i am HITLER!
I'll make this country into a totalitarian state.
WORSHIP ME!!
TOGETHER WE KILL THE JEWS!!
No worries shit,
I'll flout the laws.
On 'homosexuals'
So homosexuals can come alive!
Wat shit.
And those undesirables shit,
Or those freaking human living things i hate,
BEWARE!!!!
ESPECIALLY you stupid CHEAPO SHADES.
Stupid bung.
GO to hell.
I fucking send u to the concentration camp.
Or throw u into the gas chamber u SHIT!!
Or skin u alive in public!
And together we expand our border!
To join Msian & singapore axis pact.
Together we kill those shit.
(have't think of killin others.but hate bush la)
(Bt msia stupid sia)
Only know how to create new songs for their country.
Their commercials on "truly asia"
DOn't need la they useless.
Nono..we shall backstab them!
For we need their water resources and oil.
Hmm..i should join pact with RUSSIA.
My Lord(hitler) enemy.
Ex-STALIN government.
WE kill Israel first.
For they have blood our brothers and sisters.
(wow..brother and sisters? Lu rilek la pantat!)

We shall join forces and make up a peace shit settlement,
With France and and cuba japan.
Cuba for their nuclear.
Ouh..and i shall make AYUMI HAMASAKI,
NAMIE AMURO,
My wife!!
And i shall Demand Canada,
For Kristin Kreuk.
Ouh fuck.
I sound like a womaniser.
Nono..make them my porn star instead.
Jokin la.
i shall go to woodland,
And fucking demand their daughter!!
I shall brainwash them that lesbian rs is good.
And i help ash for her vengeance on ,
Sang Misai and muke putih badan hitam.

Those who are suspected of hating homoesexuals,
Or traitor,
Shall be send to camps immediately.
NO TRIALS GIVEN.
NO NO NO.

And i'll publish a book called "Ryann mein kampf"
Depicts about my life.
Ouh.
Songs about loving Ryann(me),
Will be aired on tv and radio.
I shall make mtv of mmyself.
Poor hitler,
MTV was not introduced back then.
Not enough of propaganda.
I shall publish my face on the front page.
Before every drama on the tv,
I will have 5minutes of my preach.

*Evil laugh*

Bye bye shits.

Tell me if i should go.

Me against My MONEY!

Ouh.
Dear Comrades!!
How was mission heart-wrenching came along?
The crowds:Mission Accomplished. *Hail Commander Ryann*

I'm having the monday blues!
Aye?
This is tuesday!
What fuck.
Still,i'm having the blues.

I feel like studying physics.
Ouh.

Basically my head was lulling in the bus.
Too sleepy.
6months of work,she crashed into 30mins of lessons?
Crap thou.
At the end of the day,
What i've learnt today,
I shall make it to stay inside my fucking BRAIN.
Just like the memories we've used to share.
Erh..what does all these graphs,
ALgebras shits has got to do with our future man?
Does taxi-driver have to like,
Draw graphs,then some cumulative frequency shit,
Then do some algebras,to attract passengers???
GO to hell.
Be it hell or what,
I MUST MUST make it.
Even if nursing is out of reach.
Then get me into 'early childhood' la fuckerS!!!
I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS COURSES!!
Aye, this cousin of mine didn't get the,
Business-sports management frm higer nitec?

She:SERIOUS?!!!U GOT INTO THAT.
Me:(half awake) Yes. but i rejected.
She:Why?!!!

I don't want to work in a gym.
I don't want to be a fitness assistant.
Napfa test is so distressing.
BECAUSE i CAN NEVER PASS STANDING BROAD JUMP U FUCKERS.
Such a waste to came in 1st among the girls in class,
For 2.4km.
Such a waste to clock 11seconds for suhttle run.
That shit just have to pull me down.

Seriously,
I don't even know what i want.
I really want to join chatec.
But i was in a dilemma.
Should have followed mom.
SHe wanted to enrol me in chatec.
I think,
In few years time after my course,
I'll be a pastry chef.
I feel like cutting myself.
I WANT TO BE A CHEF!!!
Okok..i know.
I almost burnt the kitchen down.
BUt its ok.
Atleast,i'll burn the reastaurant down.
Then, you'll see me in media.
THis makes no sense shits.


Till then,
Happy wanking shits!!

I'm gonna be okai...

I have no idea why i am blogging.
HURHUR.

Was 10minutes early for school,
And this ash had to screw me.
Ookok..non-literally la.
So in the end we attended 45mins of the lesson?
Whot da phark whay yam aii so early nowadays??

Shall do my maths homework!!
HURHUR!!
Oh my..i hate to suffer atleast 35mins all da way,
For my practical test!

Nevermind.
*Screams for mom*
Cmon pay my motor-license fee!!!
PUHHHHHLEASE!!
I bet she will pay for me.
She kept yelling at me,
"why u don't wanna take the license???"
Cmon..wait for november ok then i'm a legal 18??
But i wanna take driving one.!
Sis buying a car.
Oh god..don't tell me its hyundai sonata???
I hate that car!!!
=(((

Ouh..
Went out just now,
Saw alort alort of nice nice cars!!
Porshe-boxter,toyota-celica and mini cooper.
Nah..not interested in that mini shits.
Hee..i still want hyundai-tucson.
Go to hell with hyundai-matrix.
Nono..lets buy chrysler instead???
but it is TOO BIG and spacious!!
Hehe.. *winks*
Oh...
Nevermind..i'll modify my own car.
Fix it with a powerful double bass speaker.
OUH OUH!!
Hear me ROAR!!!!
Shuttup shuttup.

My legs are aching,
After 7hours of walking.
=((
Poor poorrrrr mee.
=)

I was $100 richer.
Now i am,
Haha.. =)
Nevermind..splurge splurge!!
I don't care.

I should buy erms..
A new perfume.
I'm sick of issey miyake,polo sport-ralph lauren and hugo boss-motion.
I miss my old eau de toilette.
Haha..naha... my escada-sentiment.
=(
I wanna get ralph lauren-romance larhs!!
And Ck-eternity!!
And..pacco robane-ultraviolet!!
Oh shuttup.

We went into a shop,
WHere they sells lotsa cool costumes!
Ahh..i wanna get that warrior armor!
U know the armor, in the movie 'the last samurai'???
Woohoo.
What for?
Hehe.
Men are sexy when they wear skirt!!
Ouhouh... i need some drags la.

I want thattttt hatttt!!
But she walks away everytime i try them on.
=(
Neverminds.
Ouh.
Sighs..we're in the same boat.
Lamenting.

I miss paris hilton!
HOH.
I sounds like as if i've met her real life.
Ouh ouh..she's a bitch.
Blonde?
Okok..she's the only blonde i like lars.
=))

Mom don't even bother to ask did i cut my hair.
ARGH.
Maybe i should cut like this.
Then she'll chase me with a broom
HURHUR.



Mustad plug-away from here.

For all times...

My blog is like,
YUCKS!
I know.
Need to configurate with the html.
Ahh...i fucking have no time.
Next time yea,
I shall isnert some DHTML too.

I don't know why i am listening to this malay song!
Weird.
I'm sorry i don't know.
ALright alright..i admit.
I am not a malay song fanatic.
Maybe i fell in love with her when she sang tis song,
At mtv asia aid concert.
Okok..she's siti nurhaliza.
*feels a spank*
Ouch!
Okok..only that day.
NOt anymore!!
I still love namie amuro la.
*giggles*
I better save every penny i have,
To board a flight to JAPAN!!
ouh.

This is from siti's song:
takkan mungkin kita bertahan,
HIdup dalam bersendirian,
Panas terik,hujan badai,
Kita lalui bersama.

OK SHUTTUP!!
Don't laugh at me.
Hurhur.

Oh..there's school tomorrow!
Looking forward.
Those are the times,
Where i can divert my attention too.

Still am missing u.

For an instance...

Maybe i should not be bothered,
Maybe i should accept that its over.
How can i be nonchalant,
When it is bothering every little things in me.
I am not crying because of my loss.
I am not crying because it is a usual thing after a break up.
I cannot fake it,
I cannot hate it.
It is my heart which is about to break.
Won't u baby please listen?
I am down on my knees,
For i can't hold on anymore.
/////

I should stop harbouring the thoughts of patching up anymore.
NO news,no calls,no sms from her,
How can there is a chance of patching up anymore.
She is busy talking to others,
I don't even understand why her mom let het talk ont he phone for hours,
BUt when it comes to me,
Her mom simply went bananas.
I don't even understand how can her mom let her go out all the time,
When we broke up.
Fuck ok.
Don't tell me because her mom hates bungs.
I'm not the only bung she knows ok.
Argh.
Shuttup ryann.
Forget it ryann.
Make room for the better man.
You're nothing.

Yes it is troublesome to wake up 445am in the morning,
To just reach 550am at woodlands.
Well,i did not sleep at all the whole night,
Fearing that i might not wake up.
And Where i can wake up at 7am instead.
It is troublesome to run all the way to the mrt,
Just to not miss the train.
Everyone in the neighbourhood is stil lsleeping,
Feel like a ghost-town.
How can i reach there by 550am?
While the first train leaves at 540am,
The journey could atleast takes 10mins.
And after all these,
U decided to spent your time in the bus,
Talking to god knows who.
Talking about me.
If you hate me,
Just say so straight into my face.
Won't i be disheartened?
After sacrificing all these,
Just to see u talking on the phone.
IS THIS WHAT I FUCKING WANT?!!!
I could instead take the 730am train,
Listening to some shits conversation.
Which doesn't talk about me.
And after sending and walking u to school,
I am 2 hours early for school!
Wtf.
I could tell u how much u love u,
I could whisper those words to u everyday,
But can u???
FOrget it ryann.
SOme fucks is wooing her.
Is this wat i wanna hear?
ABout some ass wooing u.
U're happily talking about the,
WIth every new person u talk about,
It makes my heart crumbles even more.
Like i've said,
I'm nothing...
Ouh..make room for the better man for her.
RETREAT COMRADES!!!!
....

This vertical horizon-i'm still here.
Dload it guys.

I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll hold on while you drift away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one that's gone
I'm still here
Still here

Seeing the ashes in my heart
The smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place
But everything you wanted to take from me
Is everything that I could never be

Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one that's gone
I'm still here

Maybe tonight
It's gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay
I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole
When I saw you yesterday
But you didn't noticed
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you're gone, you can't return
I'm still here
Remember how you use to say I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here

Push the door at last,and i'm soaking through...

This is so infuriating mad.
I can't stand him no longer!!!
Oh well, u stupid pri5 brother,
If u wanna scold my friends,
Go and do it.
Let them beat u up until u just left with balls.
You don't have to say,
That i am the one writing it.
Why should i be saying all these to them?

At that instant when he said it was me,
My hand just moved and i gave him a tight slap.
THen i walked towards my room,
He beat me with a badminton racket.
THen he tried to beat me again,
I just grabbed the nearest thing beside me.
I threw a metal chair at him!
That landed him with so much agony.
HAHA.FREAK.
Now u know how violent i am.

One day,
I'll hang him upside down.
To teach him a lesson not to be so crude.
To scld vulgarities at people.
Even infront of my mom.
I don't understand why mom didn't even beat him up,
FOr scolding "Fuck u irritating ass!!"
ARGH.

All i really want is you.
You were once my wealth.
Still is.

If only u knew...

You seem to have stop caring about me,
You seem happy when it comes to others.
Things weren't like this in the past.
You seem much more happier when it is me.
I can never stop thinking abt u,
Neither can i get over u.
You seem to have moved on,
Am i that easy to forget?
Was these 11months means nothing to u?

She's looking in my eyes...

School was AIIIIIIIIIIIIITEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
haha.
Seriously!

=))))

The aftermath was even better.
i can't stop smiling till now.

Ahh....im high on tobacco,nicotine,tar,carbon monoxide and 3k harmful shits.

I gotta go and drown myself with mugs and mugs of coffee.
Been awake for 34 hours.
And i am still wide awake.

Something is wrong with me.
I think i'm dying..

Ouh ouh.

Oh cmon!!! SAY YES!!!
=))))))))

Ouh.

I have diarrhoea.
This is a bad omen.
*screams the F word.

I hope mom says yes,
About me going KL tmr!
ARGGGGHH....
SAY YES MOM!!
I buy cigs for dad ok?
Wahha... rites.

Dad:Where's cig?
Me:Wah liao..the bus so long me cnt tahan wors..
So i smoke la..
Hanna...hanna...

=)))))
I want go.
want want want.
hmm..it will be cool.
+)

I can't wait for school too!!
This a positive sign.
Hur.

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl
Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl.

I have high libidos...

Ahh..i am fucking pissed with this mp3 of mine!
Maybe i should toss it out of this 13th storey window.
FREE MP3 ANYONE???
Cmon and held your hands up high!
Who knows you might catch the mp3.

This secretary thought sis and i are cuz.
Coz we speak like we're frens.
Ah well.

Mdm naimah:i asked u to call your mom right?!!!
Me:I'm talking to my mom right now la.

Hur.

Idiosyncracies.

I should get a new mp3.
Maybe da creative brand.
If i have $50, sis will add $100 for me,
To buy mp3.
HAH.

I ain't no rich fuckster.

I just realised i made a very stupid mistake.
Why am i too blunt to see it??
Knock some sense into me please.

I get kinda 'high' when i listen to,
Namie amuro-girls talk.
HUH.
Maybe i was thinking about the concert she performed.
SEXXXY..GORGEOUS!
*barks*

=))))

//am i just a passerby in ur life?

I would do anything for love...

I want to be like my good friend. To be very patient, tolerant towards her gf, to fetch "his" gf almost everyday from school. To be there when she needs "him". To be the best "bf" for her. To be near her. To live a few block away.

Maybe what i'm feeling right now is what god Himself wants me to realise myself.Maybe he just wants me to be a monk.To live in Tibet and devout to him. Believing in life after death.

At this point of time, few days ago i lost someone i truly love. Even more than any of my ex-lovers. It would have been our 11months. Next month would be our 1st year. Some things just have to go when we are expecting or hoping. This is bad.

I want to do the things like my good friend does for "his" gf. After the downfall of our rs, alas, i've been given to do all these. To send her to school everyday. To even go to school with her. But.. look at us now.

Even though my school is near my house, 10mins bus journey. For proving my love for her, i would stay at sister's house. To wake up 445am, three times a week in the morning. To reach her bus-stop by 545am. Which means, catch the very 1st train from here,Yew tee. To board the same bus with her. To accompany her to school. Looking forward to meet the girl i really love. And reach the bedok interchange at 7am. Too early to attend my 830am class. I would do anything to make her see that my love for her is real. I'll even send her back home!

To public, it is madness. To go all the way from one end just to send your love one to the other end. It is not madness. This is love. I'll do anything for her. I'll pick the stars from the sky. I'll walk across the ocean. I'll swim into the sea just to get a beautiful conch for her.

But.. i'm not given the chance.

Tell me if its too late.
Tell me if i should move on.
I don't care how much these open wounds u've caused.

i can't move on.
I'll always be here.
=)

Yet today,
another heartache.
No news from u. =(((((